AND THE PEOPLE CHANGED

AND THE PEOPLE STAYED HOME. AND READ BOOKS, AND LISTENED, AND RESTED, AND EXERCISED, AND MADE ART, AND PLAYED GAMES, AND LEARNED NEW WAYS OF BEING, AND WERE STILL. AND LISTENED MORE DEEPLY. SOME MEDITATED, SOME PRAYED, SOME DANCED. SOME MET THEIR SHADOWS. AND THE PEOPLE BEGAN TO THINK DIFFERENTLY. AND THE PEOPLE HEALED.

— Kitty O’Meara

What a crazy, messy time it’s been recently. It’s been a wide mix of emotions, one minute sad, one minute crying, one minute determined, one minute scared, one minute calm, one minute panicked, one minute excited for the future, one minute empty. There’s been days where all I’ve wanted to do was watch Netflix and read books, there’s been days where I’ve been on it with my to-do list and getting on it with client work. There’s been pressure to find new work, put myself out there, explain what I do, gain new clients, all whilst this is going on just so I can pay bills. I’m aware I’m definitely one of the lucky ones, but it’s still tough.

Part of me likes the idea of self-isolation, the time to cook, paint, read, learn, relax, sleep, spend time with B, part of me is so worried, part of me is scared, part of me questions what’s going on? Part of me needs the time to focus on growing my dreams and ideas, all of me misses my friends and family so much, part of me absolutely believes that something else is going on that we’re not being told, part of me needs a mental break, part of me wants to know when this will all end and when I can hug my family again. But, during this whole craziness, I’ve started to find solitude in slowing down. If anyone knows me, you know I priories self care and making time every day for meditation, reading, exercising etc, but I do struggle to switch off. I feel as if I should always be working. When I’m not working, I can’t focus on what I’m doing as I’m thinking of things I should/could be down for clients, for company, but when I’m working I know I need time to switch off and relax. It’s a tricky balance.

I suppose throughout this major halt in all of life, we have been given no choice but to slow down, however, I would be totally fine with this if I also knew I had a guaranteed or even semi-guaranteed income coming in, I guess that’s one of the pitfalls of being self employed counteracting the many benefits. But who could have guessed this? Who could have imaged this would've happened? I really don’t think anyone could’ve.

The positives to this have been; longer sleeps, daily walks with Billy - some windy, some sunny, some with sunsets, some with long chats, some with solitude, taking my time to cook and producing delicious meals, time to learn about astrology, a lot of Netflix, naps, time to go within and figure all the nitty-gritty shit out, daily workouts, meditation, a lot of hugs and kisses, FaceTime with my friends and family, time in the kitchen, drinking coffee, in the sun. All the basics that we should love but forget about when the hustle and bustle of life takes over.

Stay safe, stay home,

A, x