“if I get through this year, no matter how badly, it will be the biggest victory I’ve ever done.”

The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

A lockdown summer, something I’m sure none of us ever thought we’d have to go through. It’s funny, whilst living through the Summer, I felt frustrated with the restrictions, that I couldn’t see friends properly, I couldn’t travel like I had hoped too. This summer had high expectations, I was supposed to see one of my childhood friends get married in Pittsburgh, B & I were planning on heading to America and travelling for a few weeks, there would be festivals, nights out, beach days, time spent in humid London, and I caught myself, quite often, feeling sad and frustrated over this. And the icing on the cake was that work had really dried up. But now, I look back at my photos and journal entries and think, wow, I did have a really good summer. Isn’t it interesting how our minds work? How they really can trick us into thinking things are worse than they are. Sure, it was completely different to how my summers usually are, but I found solitude in waking up early with the sun, walking to my local tidal pool and going for morning swims, walking home, grabbing coffee and then reading, journalling or stretching in the sun in my living room.

This summer consisted of daily morning swims, long walks, tons of coffee, beach days, reading, meals out, a lot of sunset watching, watching all the Marvel films, strawberry picking, beach yoga, bike rides, gardening, and the most gorgeous week ever with the dreamiest trip to Sardinia. I had time to work on mind, to work on my priorities, to figure stuff out, and then just like that, work came my way. More work that I’ve ever had. Our minds are special, and our minds are important.

Sometimes, looking back allows you to think. It allows you hover and ponder, and have time to think that everything is good, my life is good. Sometimes all we need is a reminder, a little guidance to start thinking these ways - these reminders can come in an array of different mediums, perhaps it’s a friend, through books or quotes, whilst meditating or going for a walk, or simply just having some time to breathe and figuring it out yourself. I think what I’m trying to get at, is that although this year has been extremely challenging, and these challenges range for every single person on this planet, elements have been truly beautiful. We have had more time, we’ve had time to think and fix friendships, fix relationships with ourselves, find new ways to show the people we love, that we love them, time to slow down and learn about ourselves, figure out the parts of our lives that need healing, or space, or change. Some people had a lot of time alone, some people had a lot of time with their partners. We had time to think do I even like my job? Why am I slaving away at a job that does not bring us any happiness or joy?

I’ve seen friends make huge life changes that I really don’t think they would’ve done if lockdown didn’t happen. I’m also aware that not everyone has had this time, some people have had to work harder than ever to make rent, or to help people heal from illness and make huge sacrifices. I know that, but I can only speak from my experiences, sometimes it can feel hard to write and say things from your perspective because you of course, don’t want to upset anyone. It’s been a real year of change, and I hope this summer bought elements of happiness, love and solitude like it did for me.

A, x